Whoever wrote this, thank you.
These words sum up the pivot of my life right now.
I recently broke my own heart and in the process lost a friend.
Or so I thought I did.
The only way to make sure is to ask.
But what if I try to reach out and it doesn't work?
I do not want to be rejected. Not again.
Besides, the last time we talked, it was so obvious that you were only being civil by responding to me.
You did not want to talk to me.
You did not even deny it when I asked.
I told myself I would not write about you,
because you might think that I am still holding on to you.
You would not like that, would you?
Well you do not have to worry, because I have let you go from the very moment you said, "Sorry."
But I have to admit that I am haunted.
By your memories.
Memories that still make my heart aflutter whenever I go back to them.
Memories that remind me of how it felt like when you cared.
I could fall in love over and over again with you...r memories.
I also would like to admit that when I saw your face after the storm,
I knew it was not you who I was reading about in our conversations.
It was not you who would defy the odds to solve problems that are mine.
It was not you who made me feel like the things I did made me special.
I am aware that my memories of you are no longer who you are today.
So, I guess you cannot say that I wrote about you.
I wrote about who you were.
I wrote about your past.
But not you, exactly.
Because I am not entirely sure I still know you.
I have no idea what happened,
I have no clue what I did wrong.
All I know is you are gone.
It is over.
I am not even sure what "it" was.
But I do know that I miss your friendship.
I had hoped we could keep that.
But where do we stand now?
Again, to get the answer I would need to ask you.
That would be too much of a risk.
Sometimes, I feel like I deserve to know why.
Just like I probably deserved more than a couple months of you.
But maybe you did not know how to end a relationship, because you were not sure how to start one either.
Just like how I am still poor at putting writings into conclusion.
